Allow Yourself to Feel
Growing up in a home that was constantly rattling with fighting and shouting is something that gives us scars so deep that they stay with us for our whole lives. However, in some instances these battle-scars show up on our skin right from beneath the surface and we might just choose to let them rule our lives. And it is because of this, more often than not, that ruins our chances at a full and happy life; a life that Allah SWT has given us.
It is very easy to fall into the trap of shaytaan, when he whispers into one’s ear, that because so and so has done this to you, it means that you have to shut yourself out from people. It means that you have to close your heart up. That you do not owe anyone anything, because you have been dealt with a bad card – so to make yourself stronger, and to make sure you don’t get hurt again, you have to be hard, and cold. When in fact, this prevents one, not from finding happiness again, but from doing such reward-worthy deeds that could actually change one’s life for the better.
Says the woman who, as a child, was beaten up by her father! Yes, she has gotten married to a pious, good man, but she shall always keep her heart enclosed, fearing that maybe one day he too might let her down. Many years down the line, she finally trusts herself and her spouse enough to wholeheartedly love her husband. Her life is so much brighter now, she has a feeling of calm and wonder around her.
But she hasn’t arrived here without a feeling of loss! This is where she realizes that she has lost so many years of past happiness.
Says the woman whose father, when she was little, would torment her by instilling in her the fear of other people. As if the world was just a mean old person, and that to never expect anything in return from anyone.
So in her fear, she wasted good friends and good neighbors, thinking why should she make an effort in attempting to be friendly or kind. After all, people were bad so what’s the point!
But The All-Merciful showed His mercy and a time came when the woman’s heart softened. She gradually extended a hand of friendship. A friendship that later became almost like family. And when times were good or rough, these friends were there for support through it all.
Now she realized that kindness brings nothing but good. That no, not all people are monsters, and some even have hearts of gold.
A narration from the beloved Prophet ﷺ goes like, ‘the one who is deprived of tenderness, is deprived of all good whatsoever.’ (Al-Muslim)
Unfortunately today, the phrases like “Why should I care?’, “They didn’t do anything for me”, “It’s all about my rights!”, are rampant. But have we forgotten about the rights of others? Why do we choose to ignore other hearts like the one that we hold?
Allah SWT has blessed us with the ability to give, love, hope, and show kindness, without losing anything. Yet we choose not to. Let us not fall into the trap of Shaytaan. Let us allow ourselves to be softer; to feel the joys of this life.
This life may have treated us unfairly, but let us gulp down that pain and pass on the smiles only!
And always remember,
“The heart may be in your chest, but it
is in Allah’s hands. Ask him to open it.”
May Allah SWT bless all Muslim brothers and sisters with happiness in their family life!