Don’t fight with your spouse

dont-fight-with-your-spouse

Every day Satan and his followers gather to discuss how they have caused chaos between the sons of Adam, Satan listens to each of their stories .Till one of them explains how he created mischief between a husband and wife, at hearing this Satan becomes very happy and he praises this demon and puts his crown on his head saying you have done the best evil deed possible. Imagine if Satan is happy when a husband and wife are quarreling then whats Allah’s response?

1. Allah has mentioned that Satan is our enemy

2. If Satan wants a couple to fight should we provide him this opportunity?

3. Imagine the level of Allah’s displeasure if not one but two couples are involved in adultery or in an affair , one person from each couple which results in two families breaking apart.

Please be patient with your spouse and trust them . Be careful of Allah’s wrath if you follow your satanical feelings then you will be answerable for all your deeds in front of Allah , He may forgive His rights but if you violate the rights of His creation He will not forgive them until that person forgives you.

The rights of your spouse are vital building blocks for a healthy society , so take heed to fulfill then to please your Creator and have a balanced and happy life in both worlds.


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May Allah SWT bless all Muslim brothers and sisters with happiness in their family life!

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12 thoughts on “Don’t fight with your spouse”

  1. I’m married for almost 2years’ and that years past by’ not all of the time we’re always happy’ there’s fights, argues,misunderstanding’ specially when i start questioning him or asking him in a way of i act liked I’m accusing him’ sad to say it’s always happening to us’ even how many time’s i say sorry and promise to him that i will change my way’ but still I’m repeating it.. now his not talking to me for 2days more’ and i don’t now what to do’ I’m here in Philippines and his in Jeddah.. we’re having a Long distance relationship now.. please helped me caused I’m too stress about this.. i know my mistakes and apologize on him but he doesn’t want anymore and his giving our relationship out.

  2. I hope sister Fathima is already back to her husband and not divorced.
    May Allah reconcile broken hearts and give us pious spouses.
    @ Admin: Can you please advise or ask for advise on your fb page for this query as this is v.common where spouses don talk and sit with egos on both sides, relatives blow up the issue, frustrations increase and the marriage ends in a divorce and irrepairable damage is done.
    What should be the solution if people stop to communicate and even if one communicates other is not ready to talk and worst thing sometimes parents stop one of them from communicating.
    should there be any timeframe if your spouse deserts you and never comes back or communicates to wait according to Sharia. People cannot waste their lives waiting for months and years to return.
    Hope your answer helps reconcile many hearts and also people to decide in a better way how to end a marriage that has no communication for longer period as the feelings for your spouse wud die after long seperation.

  3. Looks lik u luv him n miss him a lot. I guess he too wud hav been missing u.
    U fought nd angry but from ur side ur missing him.
    From his side as time is increasing he may start feeling u hate him n don’t luv him nymore so not contacting him. If u r away from him he may be asked by his family to divorce u and marry another girl. As time increases chances of you both living together decreases. Not sure check if they hav sent any divorce letter by post to you already..
    Why all this headache for u him his family and ur family. Is ur family aware of this.
    If you can post on a site that u miss him , can’t you just msg him that u miss him and finish d problem. Don’t go for ego for small issues. Think of ur parents how they will feel wid u sitting at home.
    I am 48 years and with my experience I can say people lik u go for ego and most probably end being divorced.
    You don’t seem to be a good wife following Islam. I pray Allah to give u wisdom n save ur sinking marriage which I don’t see will happen.
    Do let us know what has happened whether u both meet r separated. The devil and his followers will be celebrating for breaking ur marriage nd Allah will be definitely angry wid u for leaving ur husband for small issues instead of sorting out.
    Don’t contact him n sit tight and sooner ur Facebook status will be single. Congrats.

  4. Husband did not call and you fight n don’t communicate with him for 18 days and now some 24 days . Are you mad or what to spoil your life.
    The guy must be given an award for his patience.
    First check if he is still ready to forgive you and take you back or he is already looking for other options.
    Call… talk… say sorry.. meet him.
    This is a silly issue and don’t be stupid.
    Act before it is too late and the damage is irreparable.

  5. I guess by now it is already a month you stopped communicating with your husband for small issues as you mentioned.
    1) Pick the phone and call him immediately. Tell him how much you love him and apologize. There is no shame in asking forgiveness to the person you love. Maybe he is badly hurt because of your continuous fights. Talk to him patiently even if he replies angrily and reconcile.
    2) Are you not with him now? O Muslima, immediately leave for your house and be with him before it is late and he gets used to living without you and takes any decisions.
    Just ask your heart how your husband is, did he used to love you, care for you especially when you were sick or had any problem, tried to keep you happy?
    Many girls these days do not understand the value of getting a good and pious husband and think a bossy attitude will bring their husband to them rather they don’t understand the husband will start moving away.

    The reason I write this reply is, I was married to a pious man who loved and cared for me. I started taking him for granted, used to stay at my dad’s place always, not used to wake up before he left for job, always asked to eat out and never cooked for him, disrespected him in front of people and used to fight for small issues. I stopped communicating with him, still he tried to be patient with me. My family asked for divorce and his heart broke after few months. Now I am living a single miserable life cursing myself for my foolishness from past 2 years whereas Allah gave him a pious wife with whom he is leading a blissful life.
    So please value the world’s best blessing God has given you, love him, respect him, live with him. Life is very small, treasure it with the person who loves you and don’t repeat your mistakes.
    All the best. May Allah give love between you and your husband and grant you both a happy life together.

    1. Also these articles of Pious couple will definitely help you become a better wife (always follow throughout your life for a happy married life)
      5-ways-to-earn-your-husbands-respect
      how-to-get-your-spouse-attention/
      the-role-of-woman-as-a-wife-ideal-guidelines-for-an-exemplary-wife/
      questions-that-muslim-wives-should-ask-to-themselves/

  6. I fought with my husband because he ddnt call me nd many more small issues.
    I want to talk to him I miss him a lot. It’s 18 days we didn’t talk r communicate with each other. Kindly please help me.

    1. Hafez Abdul Rahman Al-S

      Dear Momina,
      The name you have is of one of the finest wives of Islam, the beacon of an obedient, pious, dutiful and loving wife according to the Prophet himself.
      In a marriage the key is communication. Not communicating for long will have a negative impact and kill a relation.
      You cut communication, you loose touch. You loose touch, he looses love. he looses love, you loose him.
      Don’t loose him for small issues. I guess you are still holding on to your anger and ego,let them go . I think someone is misguiding you not to communicate with him but wait for him to call/communicate.
      He is the one Allah almighty has chosen for you and I can easily say he is a good guy as you have been missing him and also he is hurt bad as he did not get back.
      So check for different channels to communicate with him and for Allah’s sake and the prophet’s sake start communicating with him immediately now .
      So my suggestions
      1) Call and tell him that you love him, this is the best thing. He will melt in 2-3 calls of yours. Fastest way to resolve the problem. Insha Allah if you talk properly he will be in your arms in 2-3 days. Amen.
      2) Send him some flowers and surprise him with a message that you miss him if he is the one who used to get you flowers.
      3) Message him your feelings how you miss him, careful here not to send any heart breaking messages but some cute messages that will help you both unite like ‘Wish you were at my side now’ or something like miss your hug, google can help you. In msging be careful not to complain about nything past or present but concentrate on building the relationship.
      4) This is slow but may work, write all your feelings how much you love him and miss him, how you would like to spend the rest of your life with him and your dreams in an email. Remember not to complain about anything or reasons why you fought
      5) This may not work but try if you feel carefully. Do you have a family member who can help you, like your brother/sister or his brother/sister . Just talk to one of them who he likes and not the ones whom he will not listen to and complicate the problem . tell them you miss him and want to end this difference.
      Key is to be patient when trying all these without negative remarks and any complaints. Insha Allah he will get back to you in few days.
      Once you start communicating, be polite, cheerful, patient and win over his heart and love and the next step is joining him back. After 1-2 days of communicating, don’t delay go back to your in laws house and unite with him and try to live the life of a dutiful, caring, loving wife and he will melt for you.
      Read ayat 30:21 regularly. It will create affection and love between you two.
      With my prayers for you both to unite in the next 1-2 days. Do remember me in your prayers.

    2. Nusrath Ehsaan

      I hope you have followed brother Abdul’s suggestions.
      Abdul : Good suggestions. I used to be a marriage counsellor and your first tip is the best. Either the girl should call her husband or go back to her home.
      Fatima :Did you already contact your husband? Did you guys started talking?
      If yes please post so that people stop giving you suggestions.
      If No please contact him and talk.
      Think once from the perspective of your husband. You left his home then family and friends will be asking whr r you. How he would feel ashamed and disgraced to say that his wife abandoned/runaway from him. He will be going for work, coming back doing all his household work alone. day by day he will start hating you and one day his heart will break and any feeling for you will disappear. I guess this would hav already started to happen.
      You are not in touch, to console himself the probability of him moving towards something bad is high. He may get involved with another woman as well which may spoil your marital life forever. At-least are you talking to his parents or your parents are in touch with him. If families are not in touch as well the probability of him divorcing you or a second marriage is very very high. If your husband meets any of your relatives and vents out frustration it brings disgrace to you and your family and his as well.
      Generally in these kind of no communication cases, guys get frustrated and send away the divorce document by email or post and the damage is for both parties.
      What is the problem, just because he did not call you once, you are punishing him snapping ties. Ask yourself is it completely his fault or you are also equally responsible for the problem, many a times we overlook our faults and just blame others. I feel there is no one to suggest you what is wrong and right. Family is also not able to support with a small problem.
      Actually you can solve your own problem with Allahs help. Call him today and talk, InshaAllah you both will unite.
      In case you want you can write to me on nusrath.ehsaan on gmail. I can reply back to your issues and help resolve the issue by email as a muslim sister of yours, will be happy to help.
      This is no more a small issue, a wife not communicating with husband for more than a month will be blown out of proportion by in laws, many people will talk bad about you, some people will see if the marriage can be broken and if they can fit their daughter in your place. The guy will succumb to pressure. What if they just ask him to go for a second marriage with a divorcee or a widow in a mosque citing reason wife absconding,someone has to take care of you, cook for you, you too hav needs.
      I guess you love him very much then why do you want to loose him or share him. Dont hold to one thing that he did not call, remember the beautiful moments you spent with him, remember how he tried to surprise you, remember how he cared for you, remember how he called your name with love, remember how he would hav expressed his love for you, remember the instances where he cared for your happiness. remember the one instance whr he wud hav told u he loves u frm his heart. felt sad for staying away frm u.
      Call him before you loose him today. btw are you are newly married couple ? These kind of high expectations and issues come from girls during first 2-3 months that he calls her often and they get angry n spoil relationship.
      You have only one option call and talk to the most improtant person in ur life and bring bak happiness in ur life and as brother Abdul said for Allahs sake, prophets sake and your parents sake call him right now .
      May be you are afraid what u shud talk, just call him n ask how he is doing, how is someone in the family doing, how is his work, initiate a call and in 2-3 calls u will unite with him.

    3. Fatimas ex husband

      Madam got divorced by putting false accusations on husband.
      Took all the gold he gave.

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