Your Marriage has a right to privacy!
We are in the day and age where everything is about ‘sharing’, sharing your every movement to everyone either in person or on some form of social media including your family, friends, work colleagues and total strangers but what are the deeper reasons which makes us do this and what are the consequences this can lead to? Here is an article related to , Marriage Privacy – Your marriage has a right to privacy
Marriage is a blessing from Allah, something so precious that we should be guarding with our lives just as we would if we found a precious jewel we didn’t want anyone to damage. When we leave our houses to go outside, we don’t leave our doors open inviting someone to walk in and damage or take away our sacred belongings, instead we make sure we lock the door and don’t advertise to the world or to the one who our belongings will be the most temping to. So, can we ask ourselves why we do we not shield our marriages in the same way? why we don’t care much of marriage privacy
Allah – Ar Rahman, has blessed us with countless blessings that we cannot count on our fingers including our senses, limbs, wealth, health and people. He has given us so much and continues to give us more and more but are we truly thankful? How many times a day do you sit and thank Allah for the blessings he has bestowed upon you?
And Who gave you all that you asked Him for. Were you to count the favours of Allah you shall never be able to encompass them. Verily man I highly unjust, exceedingly ungrateful. (Surah Ibrahim 14:34)
Allah has carefully matched our hearts with our spouses before we were even born, to create perfect life companions for each other, the sacred union of two hearts to live together, have children together and attain Jannah together.
The Messenger of Allah (S) has said, “There is no foundation that has been built in Islam more loved by Allah, (The Greatest and Noblest) than marriage.”
But we all seem to feel the need to tell everyone or show everyone about this Rahma Allah has given us, we share photos, endless photos on social media, on WhatsApp, on blogs of our every happy moment with our spouses such as meals, days out, taking part in charity events together, holidays, gifts, kind gestures, children, the list goes on. Let’s honestly ask ourselves now, why do we do this? Naturally we feel happy and blessed with all these things and then feel the urge to share it with our friends, family and even more distant people but why? why we even don’t think if this will affect our marriage privacy?
Think about this for a second, what was the last photo you shared regarding your marriage or spouse, who did you send it to, where did you upload it and what was the purpose of sharing it?
Don’t be negative about Marriage Privacy!
I don’t want to be negative, but I don’t want to take advantage of what Allah has given me. By sharing these precious moments Allah has facilitated for us, are we not showing off, subtly telling others ‘Look what I did?’. Should we not question our intention because whether it is on the surface or deep down, surely the intention of sharing a piece of your private life is to show others what you have and how blessed you are and how happy you are but is there a benefit to this which would please Allah?
Now we’ve questioned the reason, now let’s look to the consequences. So once this picture is uploaded, what happens next? You get some likes or hearts or even a ‘Masha Allah’ or a ‘Looking good Sis’ kind of comment. Then that leads to many feelings, feelings of happiness, pride, satisfaction and then the urge to upload another picture, am I wrong?
The Prophet (saw) said ‘He who has in his heart the weight of an atom of pride shall not enter Paradise’. (Muslim)
So, one consequence could be a growth in self pride and arrogance, directing us to upload more, to see if we get more likes next time or more comments and this is very dangerous as it removes one of the things Allah loves the most, humility. Let’s move to the second consequence, the evil eye. Some people believe this deeply and some people don’t, but I am a firm believer of the evil eye as I have felt it and experienced it and so now I do as much as I can to prevent it and try to keep my blessings protected.
There are obviously things that we can’t hide like going on holiday with our spouses as our families will know however we don’t need to show them every picture we took and instead should just keep them for our own private collection.
Person’s real intention about Marriage Privacy!
Going back to those comments, ranging from close connections to distant connections, we can never know a person’s real intention or how sincere they are but we can only assume from what we know about them and no one would ever want to believe that our own friends or family can feel envious towards us but it is the most common that the people who are the most jealous of you, are usually your close family and friends as they know the most about you, see the most of your life and see your successes and triumphs and try to compete with it.
The Prophet (saw) said: ‘The evil eye is real, and if anything were to overtake the divine decree (Al – Qadr) it would be the evil eye’. (Muslim)
I’m not saying we should doubt people or be suspicious, of course not, but just to protect what is dear to your heart and what you don’t want to come crumbling down. Don’t give the enviers the ammunition to ruin what Allah has planned for you, also what we must remember is that people can give others the evil eye intentionally and more dangerously… unintentionally.
The last consequence I want to talk about is about gratitude. Reiterating the same point, that Allah has given us gifts in abundance, things that we haven’t even asked for or prayed for but have landed in our lap and in turn if we don’t show gratitude and instead show ungratefulness through Riya leading to perhaps arrogance and the evil eye then how do you think Allah will feel. He gave you so many blessings and you misused them and let Shaytan deviate you from your path which is to seek pleasure and reward from Allah alone and to please him alone.
Please Allah not the creation.
My last point is that just because society has become very open, greedy and boastful, doesn’t mean that we should conform to the majority and instead we should be holding tight to the things that matter to us most, not letting anyone destroy it by giving your marriage what it deserves…. privacy.
A reminder for me first and foremost and an article to help save our beautiful marriages and relationships.
May Allah bless our marriages and relationships and protect us from all types of evil. Ameen
Allah knows best.
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