Pornography : Tips to Help Save Yourself!!!
Assalamu’alaikum my dear brothers and sisters!
We all are human beings and we all make mistakes in our daily life. Allah, the Almighty, has already warned us about shaitan as an open enemy to believing men and women. But one thing that is extremely noticeable about shaitan is that he is extremely patient! He won’t just get you into a sin in one shot. He works on you daily, little by little until he gets you!
There are many different forms of shaitan in our daily life in which we don’t take heed. Today, In sha Allah, we will be discussing a major problem that the youth of our Ummah is facing, that is, pornography!
Internet has bought many changes and helped us out to reach millions of people within fractions of second, but at the same time it is being used to destroy our Muslim Youth!
Youngsters like you and me are in trails which are difficult than our forefather’s. Sins are just one click away from you! I’ll be discussing the following topics in this article:
- How does this habit works
- What impact does it have on your life
- What are the different ways to escape this habit
How does this habit works
There is a famous saying in the field of psychology,
“What fires together, wires together!”
I’ll try to explain you in depth so that you may understand what exactly is happening with our brains. For this you need to understand the porn circuit. Our brain learns and grows every day. This means your brain changes and doesn’t remain same every time you learn something new. This phenomenon is called as “Neuroplasticity” in psychology.
Technically it may be defined as: The ability of the brain to form and reorganize synaptic connections, especially in response to learning or experience or following injury.
Let me help you understand what exactly this means. When you do something new say for example you start eating food when you are sad or in the state of anxiety and you get relief after eating, then this new thing [a new path as in psychology] is established and your brain remembers it. Your brain is an organ that controls all the emotions. The next time you feel sad the brain remembers the last act you did which made you feel better and asks you to do it again.
Over time when you do this repeatedly this neural pathway gets stronger and stronger! Eventually your this neural pathway dominates all other. Now the next time you feel sad your brain automatically releases chemicals to make you do an act [here eating food] and now you don’t even have control over this!
Same applies to a porn watcher. Example, when they are alone or sad or depressed they go and watch porn which will make them feel better. Now the brain thinks that the next time I get sad I need to do this to make myself feel better. Next time you don’t want to do it but your brain triggers chemicals and make you watch it again.
This new path in the brain gets stronger each time a person does it and eventually gets so strong that people couldn’t help themselves and end up watching it! Every time a person watches it Dopamine [a chemical] is released in their brain which helps them feel good. This acts as a reward for the body and the brain makes you do this to get this reward! You watch it and the neural pathways are established stronger which is why we say “What fires together, wires together”. Now your brain has wired in this way that every time you are sad it fires the chemicals to do an act.
What impact does it have on your life
I need to remind you that the impact it makes on your life, is needed to be taken into consideration seriously! It is not a joke! This is something really very serious. It affects youth primarily which will destroy their future. If you google for disadvantages, you will get a whole list.
- It makes a person lazy.
- It distracts concentration, thereby less results in studies etc..
- It makes to think that they have low self esteem.
- It also affects a person’s memory.
- It develops a different attitude against the opposite gender.
- It is also responsible for psychological problems.
- It creates addiction to furthermore stuff.
- It makes a person short tempered etc.
And in case of married couples it creates serious problems! It doesn’t need any kind of introduction and I am sure most of us are aware of it. This link above shall give you some more details about the problems!
What are the ways to help us quit this habit
First of all congrats! Why? Because you have chosen to leave this habit! There are many different articles and videos that I have come across which help a lot. Let me get this section clear and step by step and at last I will give some links to help you further.
Understand the times
This isn’t going to take a lot of time for you to configure the times when it happens. For many it is in the night or for many it is when they are alone by themselves etc. you and I just need to find out the times.
Obviously when you are going on a huge war you don’t simply go and fight! It takes hard practice, sweat and determination. Now you are waging a war against your nafs which is not a child’s play. Gather all the tools which will help you stay away. Make a 90 day plan initially. Have a handy calendar and with each day’s success mark it with green and mark every failure with red! But keep it handy so that you may look at it frequently.
Clear the stuff
Only avoiding doesn’t mean you are going to be successful. You need to delete all the stuff from your laptop or smartphone or ipad whatever. Nothing to be left un-deleted, not even an image that is arousing. Get everything cleared. Burn all the CDs or DVDs happily because now you are getting closer to Allah!
Triggers are those conditions or situations that make your brain to do something. In case of porn watcher it might be a photo, a scene, or just being alone which triggers his mind to release certain chemicals to do an act as the brain is wired earlier. You and I need to find out what are these situations, or things like images which triggers us. Once you found out, then try to change these triggers; by which I mean try your best to avoid these situations!
This is a key to success! You need to put yourself in mood of watching it and when you are about to commit this sin, suddenly break that flow by interrupting with something else. Like go out for a walk or perform ablution or start doing praying or anything that will help you break that flow. You need to practice this a lot of times, un-till it becomes your second nature and when you are in a real scenario this will help you to break that flow. I highly recommend you to watch this video that has benefitted so many people. This technique is called obstinate withdrawal.
Points to Remember!
- During this 90 day course, it will be very difficult to control but remember the ultimate success.
- Not a guarantee that you won’t slip! Expect a fall during this 90 day course. But as soon as you are back to your senses perform ablution and pray 2 rak’ah salat and seek forgiveness from Allah.
- You are getting a bonus! It is difficult for us to commit a sin in Ramadhan, so the first 30 days are boosted for you!!! Now you and I have to work only for the next few days. Normally it takes about 30 days to form a new habit. So because of this Ramadhan it will be easy!
- Remember that brain has been wired strongly so you need to be patient during this re-wiring process. It will take time.
- Understand the addiction and compulsion.
- For every 5th day of refraining from porn you need to reward yourself with some treat! Eat your favorite food or get some chocolate or something you love! This will In sha Allah help you out.
- Get a software installed like covenant eyes in your smart phone or computer. It will help you a lot.
- Get regular with your Salah! Trust me it is one of the keys to success. As Allah said in Surah Al-Ankaboot, verse no. 45:
“…Indeed, prayer prohibits immorality and wrongdoing, and the remembrance of Allah is greater. And Allah knows that which you do.”
- Read Qur’an with translation and explanation. Spend more time with good people who are pious as well.
- Stop being an indoor worm and spend more time outdoor. Join a community or help in some charity work.
- Remember, that a bad habit cannot be quitted but can be replaced. You need to get rid of shaitan.
Follow these tips sincerely and In sha Allah you will be soon away from this. I highly recommend you to watch every link in this article. May Allah help us all. So until next time Assalamu’alikum!
May Allah SWT bless all Muslim brothers and sisters with happiness in their family life!