10 tips for a Blessed Married life from Imam Ahmed bin Hmble
He told his son that you won’t be able to make peace in your home unless you make these ten things a habit if your own in regard to your wife. Therefore read them carefully and act upon them.
1&2. First two things are that women need your attention. They want you to keep expressing your love for them in clear words. Therefore keep telling them about your love in clear words every now and then, and keep making them aware of their importance.
(Don’t think that she would understand herself. Relationships always need to be expressed)
Always remember that if you act miserly in expressing this, there will be a bitter rift in between you both and it will keep increasing with time and your love for each other will slowly vanish.
- Women don’t like men who are strict and extra cautious. But she also knows how to take advantage of the leniency of the soft natured man. So keep an equilibrium between both these qualities to keep the balance and love between each other.
- Women expect the same from their husbands as their husbands expect from them.
Which means things like respect, kind words, clean clothes and fragrance are important to her. So take care of these things.
- Always remember the home is the kingdom of woman. When she is there she is sitting at the throne of her kingdom. Don’t interfere unnecessarily in this kingdom of hers and don’t try to snatch it from her.
Hand over the domestic matters to her to the maximum extent possible and give her freedom of conductance is these matters.
- Every woman wants to love her husband, but remember she has her own parents, siblings and other family members. She cannot break her relation with them so it’s not at all right to expect such a thing from her. So never create such a situation for her where she has to choose between you and her family because even if she chooses you over her family she would stay unhappy and eventually this will create distances in between you two.
- No doubt the woman is made from a crooked rib and this adds beauty to her. It is not her deficiency. She looks beautiful in this way just like the eyebrows which look good when they are shaped properly. So take advantage of her crookedness and enjoy this beauty of hers. Even if she says something which you don’t like, don’t try to rectify her with rudeness and severity otherwise she will break. And her breakage will lead you both to divorce. But along with this also take care of the fact that listening and acting upon every wrong and improper thing she says. It will make her proud which is wrong for herself. So stay consistent and solve the matters with wisdom.
- Many women are naturally ungrateful and unthankful to their husbands. Even If you stay kind to her for her whole life, and there is something lacking there she would complain about that and everything you have done for her will be forgotten. Therefore don’t worry from this nature of hers and also don’t reduce your love for her. It is her small flaw but in comparison to this she has unlimited qualities. So you just keep an eye on these and keep forgiving her thinking she is Allah’s creation.
- Every woman goes through physical weakness for a few days. Allah SWT has also given her relaxation in the worship of Allah SWT. Her prayers are forgiven and she has the permission in delaying the fasts till she gets healthy again. So you also stay kind to her in those days like Allah SWT stays kind to her. The way Allah SWT has given her relaxation in her prayers, you must also lessen her responsibilities keeping in mind her physical weaknesses, help her in her work and provide her ease in her special days.
- At the end keep this in mind that your wife is your prisoner about which Allah SWT will ask you. Due to this, stay very kind and humble to her in all deeds.