Tips for Mothers

Raising a child while indulging him in the right sources and providing the soul food that nourishes him with all perspectives. It is an adventure that sounds fun and comes with responsibilities.

We took an online survey, more likely we asked Amazing moms for their opinions, guidance, suggestions, and experiences of their own.

After shortlisting some of the top comments we have summarized them for you, so here’s the compilation based on the consideration.

Love & Self Love:

Rizwana Usman Patel said: 

“Always make them repeat “I am kind” I am generous” each night before sleeping to build their self-esteem and self-respect in this degrading world ..it would boost confidence in them and they would believe it and repeat it”. 

HaseenHijab Mohamed said:

“Dear mom’s keep saying I love you dear child to your kid because most of the time kids think that our parents are very strict, very rude. So the expression of showing love towards them removes all negativity from the child”.

Lubna Irhan said:

“Two words; love and care unconditionally; we get only through mother by the will of Allah.”

Kavitha Koticha said:

“Love your kids unconditionally and always make them feel they are the best ignore their mistakes n reward their good acts…keep them god-fearing always so when mums are not around they should know there one watching from above,n never put your work pressure or sickness on them let them just see n enjoy the beautiful world.”

Shaima Noor said:

“Love is the most important thing in their life show them how much you love them give them importance. And they’ll learn to love their partners and others.”

Patience, Attention & Responsibility:

Some of the mothers made it very prominent that pouring the art of patience is the most significant factor while raising a child.

Nazira Divan said:

“You have to get kids into a routine from a baby. My kid’s bedtime as always been 8 pm and if holiday time then 9 pm. This helps us, moms, to have a little peace and wind down for the day a bit before we get to bed.

A child swearing is not cute or something to be laughed at. Teach your child respect from a young age because they grow up believing that it’s ok and when u try to change them, it will be too late.

Children are too spoilt. They are losing the value of good manners. Cellphones shouldn’t be given to kids. Even if u have a helper, kids should still have chores that need to get done before they are allowed to watch TV or play games. They should learn basic etiquette of greeting elders, going to people’s houses and learning to pitch in to help with cleaning up.
Check games they play for violence and language and monitor what they are allowed to watch. Kids are getting to desensitized to violence and corruption because of what they are brought up watching.

I bring my kids up like their parents. I am not their best friend. They can laugh and joke but when I speak, I expect to be heard.

Don’t ever undermine your partner in front of your kids. If my husband says something I don’t agree with, I wait to discuss without kids around and then show him his error to correct with time. Don’t speak badly about each other when the kids are around. This works both ways. It’s important to make a rule when yr child is a baby, that this is how u want to bring the child up and so u both have an understanding. For eg. I have 4 kids. 2 boys and 2 girls. My 2 boys discipline I leave to the dad. If they do something I tell them to wait till their father gets home to decide punishment. We discuss it prior to him getting home and we both agree on it. But boys don’t know that. So that fear is there for their father. My 2 girls are for me to discipline. He doesn’t interfere there. So maybe sit down and talk about what u expect to do as a parent.

Parenting is not easy. Especially if u have more than one. Don’t compare your kids. They all learn at different paces. Congratulate them on individual achievements. Push them to do their best and whatever is achieved should be accepted.”

Fareeda Naseer said:

Patience .patience, patience, it’s the most important thing we have for our kids .. but it’s a little difficult to keep patience all the time. and of course, lots of love and a lot of dua for them. I want my kid to know every up and down in life I don’t want to keep him always in a comfort zone.. always encourage even for small things they do. Hugs and kisses bond the relationship Between our kids.”

Karoline Louis said:

“Teach them to be responsible early on and regardless of sex to clean up and help out.”

Mubina Gulbarga said:

“Listen to them attentively when they are talking to you. Having eye contact is very important.”

Maeirah Shafique said:

“I am a mother of four girls, Alhamdulillah.
Children also need respect and time. Listen to them attentively and give weightage to their opinions. In family, discussions ask their opinion even if they are very young n then discuss them.
That’s what my parents always did n it built our personality in so many ways n I try with my children.”

Love of Allah & Religion:

Shanaaz Petersen said:

“I am a mother of 6 beautiful children. In my experience, the most important lesson we can teach our children is to firstly LOVE ALLAH because if u love your Creator your ability to love everyone else including yourself becomes easy. Secondly, remember that Allah sees all, so it will steer you away from the wrong. thirdly, learn to Forgive. If we seek forgiveness from our Creator why are we so slow to forgive. And always show kindness and compassion to everybody.

Tahira Asad said:

“Children are not taught they have the innate ability to observe and learn. As a parent, it’s only been 7 months and I have figured out so many flaws in my self, I am in a constant battle against my shortcomings. The only tip I get from my mother is “ Tahira be careful what you do in front of your child” and this is the mother of all the tips and tricks of being a parent. I am constantly struggling to be polite, patient and a persistent parent.

The second tip is to be firm and not to be strict so that your child easily get along with you and ask everything without hesitation and at the same time respects your decisions and follow them easily. And of course you have an infinite love for your child so show them this divine gift every day. Hug and cuddle with your little Marshmallows even if they become candies.”

Serena Zebian said:

“Teach your children how beautiful Islam is and make them fall in love with it, Raising your children to be respectful & well mannered. Talk to your child daily no matter how old they are, have conversations with them and spend quality time together.”

Understanding:

Kenia Aamalki said:

Communication is key in parenthood. The willingness to have an open heart, open mind and understating is key to have the best communication possible with your kids.
If you give them advice, live by that advice. Your kids are watching your every move. Actions always speak louder than words.”

Hafsa Waheed said:

“Being a mom of 2 boys aged 5 years and 9 months. It isn’t easy at all. But the thing which doesn’t stop me from going an extra mile for them is that I want to give them the best like every parent wishes to; so obviously that requires extra effort too.
What I have learned is:

  • never compare your kids to others or to their own siblings, understand that every child is different.
  • don’t push them for stuff they are not willing to do at the moment that makes them rigid in the long term.
  • let your toddlers take small decisions like what they want to wear eat etc on their own as it gives them a better sense of choosing for themselves.
  • be in charge of your kids and don’t let others degrade you for what u r doing for ur children.
  •  learn every day for your kid’s betterment through parenting books, social media or any resources.
  • last, not least; instead of being a perfect parent be a good parent!.”

Relationships & Care:

Laura Sahmarani said:

“No one is responsible for raising your children other than you, set the values and foundations you want your children to live within as parents, but be willing and open to negotiation and change as your kids get older so that they feel like they are contributing to the house and also building their own identity.

Lower your expectations of your children. Generations have changed and we need to treat our kids according to their age, let them have a childhood without expecting them to be mini-adults – helps protect their mental health.

Be prepared to be a parent but also their friend so they can come to you when they need someone or they will go elsewhere.

Love them unconditionally as they are all different and will test you through all their stages.
You and only you as parents know your kid’s potential so push them without breaking them to exceed. It’s a fine line but by working with them to support their dreams it will mean they will see you as their supporting pillars, not the sledgehammer.

Let your children make mistakes, this is the only way they will learn. Teach your kids at a very young age that their body is theirs and not to be touched by anyone regardless of who it is”.

Lubna Rehan said:

“Ignore other’s judgemental comments and do what you think is best. Your baby doesn’t need to wear designer. Comfort over style. You know your baby the best. Time. It’s the time you spend with your little that matters the most. Quality time together.
– mother of 1 toddler.”

Ridha Fazlin said:

“It’s all going to be okay, It’s OK to be tired. It’s OK to cry. It’s OK to make mistakes. It’s OK to put your crying baby down and take a moment for yourself to breathe.
Sleep when your baby sleeps. You are going to get a lot of advice; so just listen politely, smile, nod and then do what YOU think is best for you and your children.”

Sabiha Erum Khan said:

Talk to your children as much as you can. Be their best friend, talk about everything. Share everything with them the way you share with your friends. Try to make them strong from inside, do little things to teach them Patience, protect them but also let them know that life is not going to be a bed of roses. Tell your children short stories from your own life, which teach them to trust in Allah. Keep reminding them to make dua for small things so they get into the habit of asking everything from Allah.

Talk about Jannah often and tell them how beautiful it would be and how we can get there.

Raising your children is your responsibility, if your spouse is not on the same page, you cannot do much about it, don’t lose track because of that. Keep reminding urself that you are answerable to Allah about your Ummah ( your children) and they are your Sadqa e jariah. Make lots of dua for them to make them the coolness of your eyes. Ameen. “

We are so glad that these Moms stepped ahead and shared all these useful tips. If you have too, share it with us!

DISCLAIMER: The articles and views posted on this blog are the opinions of individual authors only and as such may not reflect the opinions of Pious Couple staff, editors and readers. They are solely meant for educational purposes and not any illegal purpose. The authors/shuyookh are not responsible or liable for the intentional, reckless, or negligent actions of any individual. Any person who posts, quotes, cites, copies or otherwise relies on any article or comment associated in any way with Pious Couple blog bears sole responsibility for his or her actions, choices and words. While constructive criticism and meaningful discussions are welcome; abusive comments, name calling or intolerance towards other religions, race, sex, countries, etc., will not be entertained. Pious Couple reserves all rights to delete/edit any type of comment or discussion that is inappropriate Islamically, morally or otherwise.

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